My fellow black Americans. I have discovered the solution to all of our problems.

That’s right. I have figured out how to dismantle the United States’ racist infrastructure that works overtime to keep blacks from living the American dream. Finally, we shall overcome the evils of white privilege, microaggressions, and pretty much anything else that is white.

The answer? We must all become white. Yes, we must perform a reverse Rachel Dolezal, and leave behind our blackness, and embrace all that is light-colored.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering how we could pull this off, right? It’s easy. We will become conservatives!

According to many on the left — including some friends of Liberty Nation’s own Gabi Fiorino — blacks who subscribe to conservative values are actually white. Allow me to explain.

“Let’s Face It, He’s White Too”

Last week, Gabi shared an interesting story with the Liberty Nation crew. Apparently, she showed our site to some of her millennial friends who looked at our list of writers and remarked that “everyone was white.” When she pointed out my picture — which clearly shows that I’m of a darker persuasion — they said: “let’s face it, he’s white too.”

That’s when it dawned on me. Blacks can subvert the oppressive white supremacist power structure simply by becoming conservatives. Apparently, conservative beliefs can make a person darker than Wesley Snipes look like Ashton Kutcher.

My Racial Awakening

For some inexplicable reason, I had never thought that my beliefs actually changed my race. What a fool I had been! How could I possibly think that other black Americans might value limited government, lower taxes, less illegal immigration, the destruction of radical Islamic terrorism, and a free market economy? Apparently, these are only issues that whites contemplate.

We all know that blacks are concerned only with police brutality, racism, welfare, racism, voter ID laws, racism, gentrification, and racism. It’s why most of us vote Democrat — because they tell us that the only issues that are important to us are problems that can be blamed on — you guessed it — racism.

It doesn’t matter that the Democrats constantly push blacks to embrace a victimhood mentality that keeps us from taking control of our own destiny. It doesn’t matter that the cities in which blacks are faring the worst are run by Democratic politicians. It doesn’t matter that the Democrats have enjoyed the black vote for decades without delivering any real results. If one wants to be black (and who doesn’t?) we have to know our place and stay in our lane. That means only voting for candidates with a “D” next to their names.

But, there is a better way. If we become white, there will be no more discrimination,and we will finally reap the benefits that white privilege provides.I invite all black Americans to change their race by becoming conservatives. After all, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!

But Seriously…

All jokes aside, it’s hard to blame those who assume that conservatism is only for whites — especially the younger generation. Many Americans have been fooled into believing that the majority of Republicans are white bigots who wish to maintain the white supremacist power structure.

I’ll even admit that some of this is the fault of the Republican Party, who has failed to make a genuine effort to court minority voters. They have allowed the left to dominate the narrative and convince Americans that conservatism is for racists. The left has run a very successful smear campaign against the right over the years — and it has prevented individuals from learning what conservatism means.

The reality is that as a black man, I am also concerned about “black issues.” My heart breaks every time I hear a story about an unarmed black man being shot to death by police officers who abuse their authority. Indeed, it enrages me to see instances where an American of any race loses their life because of overzealous law enforcement. There is nothing conservative about blindly defending police officers who clearly misuse their authority. After all, we are supposed to be the ones who don’t trust the government, right?

I am also concerned about the number of blacks that are killed by other blacks. Ninety-three percent of black murder victims were killed by other blacks. This might not seem like a big deal considering the fact that over 80% of white homicide victims were killed by other whites. However, if you look deeper, you’ll find that while making up only 13% of the entire U.S. population, black homicide victims represent over half of the total number of murder victims in the country. Obviously, there is a problem if we are so disproportionately represented in these statistics.

Believe it or not, I’m also concerned about racism in America. Having experienced racism, I understand the impact it can have. However, I do not believe that racism is the most important issue that black Americans face. There are simply too many successful black Americans who manage to live normal lives for me to believe that bigotry is preventing blacks from accomplishing their goals. I just happen to think that the issues facing black Americans today aren’t about racism — they are about culture and beliefs.

Want the truth? Conservatism isn’t just for white people — it’s for everyone. Anyone who wants a government that protects our rights instead of violating them can be a conservative. An individual who prefers lower taxation can be a conservative. People who believe in individuality and self-determination can be conservatives.

On the right, the color of one’s skin isn’t as important as the values to which they subscribe. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the left, who is more concerned with separating people into groups based on their idea of intersectionality. In reality, the left is far more obsessed with skin color than the right — and that is one of the reasons why I’m a conservative.