Representative Frederica Wilson (D-FL) made an alarming discovery earlier this week.
While engaging in a spat with President Trump’s Chief of Staff John Kelly, she inadvertently unearthed a brand-new racial slur to add to the American English lexicon: Empty barrel. Kelly used the pejorative against the congresswoman at a recent press briefing in which he criticized her decision to politicize the death of a soldier in Niger. “A congresswoman stood up, and in a long tradition of empty barrels making the most noise, stood up there in all of that and talked about how she was instrumental in getting the funding for that building,” Kelly said.
In an interview with a reporter, Wilson responded to Kelly’s comments and dropped a bombshell: “empty barrel” is a racist term:
“That’s a racist term ― thinking about that, we looked it up in the dictionary because I had never heard of an empty barrel and I don’t like to be dragged into something like that.”
It is unknown what dictionary Wilson or her team used to make the discovery – “empty barrel” does not appear in any online dictionary that Liberty Nation could find – but she is a black Democrat, which means she’s eminently qualified to determine which terms are racist and which are not. But the question is: from where does this term originate?
Origin of the Empty Barrel
“Empty Barrel” is a term that is largely credited to the philosopher Plato. It is believed that he wrote the phrase, “An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”
The slur also shows up in the works of William Shakespeare. He used it in Henry V: “I did never know so full a voice issue from so empty a heart; but the saying is true ‘The empty vessel makes the greatest sound.”
If Rep. Wilson is right about the phrase being racist, this revelation constitutes a shocking reality: Both Plato and Shakespeare were white supremacists. This fact has tremendous ramifications for the philosophical and literary communities. However, if we’re going to call two so prominent historical figures racist, we’ll need more evidence. Fortunately, Liberty Nation is on the job.
Plato: The White Supremacist
Proving that Plato was racist hasn’t been easy. Most scholars believe that he was merely a revolutionary philosophical figure who had a significant impact on western culture. However, as a result of grueling research, we have found the original versions of some of Plato’s most famous quotes — which have been watered down throughout the centuries. We present them to you here:
- Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Blacks always have to say something.
- We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. And when I say “dark,” I mean those dark of skin.
- Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the law — like those Mexicans who keep sneaking over the border.
- Man is a two-legged animal without feathers. Just kidding! Only men who aren’t white are two-legged animals without feathers.
These quotes are only the tip of the iceberg. Experts now believe that more information about Plato’s troubling racial attitudes will come to light in the next few months. But he’s not the only one.
Shakespeare’s Blatant Bigotry
Our discovery of Plato’s racism is alarming, but our findings of William Shakespeare are just as egregious. The truth is that the works of this man are rife will hatred towards minorities and women. Yes, that’s right – Shakespeare was also a sexist.
Liberty Nation managed to dig up previously-unreleased versions of Shakespeare’s plays. The quotes herein will shock you.
- To be, or not to be, that is the question. Unless you are a Mexican, in which case you should not be at all.
- Frailty, thy name is woman. Because women are fragile in nature and lowly of stature.
- Beware the Ides of March…and that black dude who doth wish to abscond with your carriage by force.
Shakespeare’s racism goes even farther than the aforementioned quotes. Wilfred Wellington, a noted Shakespearean scholar, points out that the playwright’s racism wasn’t as hidden as we might believe. “I mean, the guy wrote a play about a black guy who marries a white woman and then brutally kills her,” he said. “Othello was the 16th-century version of O.J. Simpson.”
What Does This Mean for American Society?
The details regarding Plato’s racist history have not yet hit the mainstream, but when they do, the revelation will create shockwaves in the culture. We already knew that all Republicans, police officers, and whites are bigots, but we didn’t know where their attitudes originated. Fortunately, there are those who want to take action.
Dr. Humphrey Hennigan, a professor of Philosophy at UC Berkeley expressed his disbelief at Rep. Wilson’s discovery. “I always wondered where the systemic racism in American society came from,” he said. “We’re going to be starting a new class next year based on this revelation.”
He stated that the class would be titled “Platonic White Supremacy and Social Justice in Philosophy.” He hopes to create more classes such as this in other learning institution because it is important to “debunk the racist foundation of western culture.”
The professor also expressed his desire to discover bigotry in other ancient philosophers. “I always had a suspicion that Aristotle was a bit of a racist. I look forward to digging deeper.”