Now that it has become clear that the Democrats’ blue wave has turned into more of an off-white trickle, they are looking at new ways to regain their lead in the polls. Earlier this year, the Democrats were expected to sweep both houses of Congress in the November midterm elections. Unfortunately for them, their lead has decreased considerably. Indeed, it is possible that the GOP could retain control of the legislative branch.
In an effort to regain their electoral advantage, the Democrats have decided to create a new branding strategy. Part of this initiative involves trying out new slogans. It wasn’t easy to gain access to the most secret of their plans, but Liberty Nation has managed to compile a list of the new slogans the Democrats have tried thus far.
The New Approach
The Democrats have decided to bolster their marketing experts by targeting their slogans to different demographics. Greg Hendrickson, a senior marketing specialist working with the Democratic Party, indicated that they are customizing their message to various groups in the intersectional hierarchy. “We feel that our message should be all-inclusive,” he said. “The only way to accomplish this is by shamelessly pandering to blacks, women, illegal immigrants, and members of the LGBTQ+ community.”
Reaching the Black Community
The Democrats’ approach to the black community remains the same: telling blacks that everyone is racist and out to get them. However, their slogans seem to be focusing on the history between black Americans and the Democrats.
“Do we even need to say anything? You’re gonna vote for us anyway, right?”
“C’mon now, you know you negroes ain’t gonna vote for anyone else.”
“We apologize for calling you negroes.”
“Okay, okay, okay, we swear that we’ll actually pay attention to you this time.”
“Don’t listen to that Kanye guy. You DO have to vote Democrat.”
While some may find these slogans to be condescending, the DNC doesn’t seem to think so. Brian Creasy, a Democratic strategist said, “This is how we’ve been talking to them for years. We’ve already convinced blacks that everyone hates them except us. We just need to remind them that they – I mean – their votes belong to us.”
Addressing LGBTQ+ Matters
The recent ruling by the Supreme Court has many in the LGBTQ+ community worried. While most gay couples don’t care about Christians baking cakes for their weddings, there are a few who are concerned that they might not be able to force Christians to violate their religious beliefs. The Democrats understand this fear and are addressing it in their outreach efforts:
“We’ll have those Jesus Freaks baking cakes for you in no time!”
“Vote for us. We’re TRANSTASTIC!”
“All the world’s a homophobe. Except us.”
Fighting for Women’s Rights
Many women are concerned about their rights. Indeed, over the last few years, they have promoted their agenda by marching for rights they already have. Brave activists like Linda Sarsour, who advocated for a “form of jihad,” and Tamika Mallory, who has ties to racist firebrand Louis Farrakhan, have led these marches.
Priscilla Pryor, a member of The Women’s March, believes that the DNC’s message to women is appropriate. “We just want women to know that aside from their differing biology, needs, and the ability to reproduce, they are EXACTLY like men,” she said. The following slogans are meant to show women that the Democrats empathize with the plight of females in the United States:
“Michelle Obama says to vote for us, so you have to do it.”
“If you don’t vote for us, you are voting for sexism, misogyny, rape culture, and toxic masculinity.”
“Your husbands are the enemy. Don’t listen to them.”
“All women deserve equal rights — except those that are not pro-abortion. Those people are pretty much scum.”
Bringing in Illegal Immigrants
As you already know, illegal immigration is a hot-button issue. While he was campaigning, President Trump vowed to decrease illegal entry into the country. Naturally, this promise earned the ire of the open-borders left who believe that everyone in the world is entitled to enter the United States willy nilly.
It would be tempting to think that Democrats only want more illegal immigrants because they tend to vote for Democratic politicians. According to Esteban Sanchez, an immigrant rights activist, this couldn’t be further from the truth. “The notion that Democrats just want cheap votes is absurd,” he said. “We really care about these people — as long as they don’t live in our neighborhood.” Here are some of their slogans:
“We’ll get around to DACA once we’re done whining about Christian bakers and gun control.”
“We love you, even if you are not legally allowed to vote yet. *wink wink*”
“No really, if you’re not here legally, we urge you not to ‘accidentally’ register to vote.”
“Catch and release: It’s not just for fishing anymore.”
“En serio, vote por nosotros y nos aseguraremos de que el muro no esté construido. Estamos diciendo esto en español para que esos idiotas republicanos no sepan lo que estamos haciendo.”
Liberty Nation thought there was something fishy about that last slogan, so we got the translation: “Seriously, vote for us and we will make sure that the wall is not built. We’re saying this in Spanish so those Republican idiots won’t know what we’re doing. ”
Will It Work?
The Democrats new marketing initiative is innovative – apparently, no political group has been brave enough to try it. But will it work? We know that the Democrats are masters of identity politics, and these new slogans are designed to bolster their efforts to win votes by dividing Americans. What could possibly go wrong?