Are you looking for an easy and fun way to earn instant credibility as a leftist protester without having to do anything? Are you tired of your fellow liberals deriding you because you’re not doing enough for “the resistance?” You are not alone.
Being a left-winger is hard, isn’t it? Between attending women’s marches, trying to make sense of Noam Chomsky’s drivel, and avoiding opposing opinions as much as you can, being a good liberal can seem exhausting. But it does not have to be this way. The Berkeley Police Department has an answer: symbolic arrests.
Berkeley P.D. is offering this service on its website to make it easier for left-wing protesters to show everyone how dedicated they are to the cause. So, what is this new way to virtue signal? Heat Street explains:
This type of arrest is where someone advises the Police Department in advance that they want to be arrested (for something like blocking the roadway) for the purpose of making a political statement. This is an actual arrest, and those who engage in them, despite the fact that they requested it, are still arrested with charges forwarded to the DA’s Office.
So basically it’s a real arrest, with real consequences. In effect, it streamlines the protesting process. Instead of waiting for police to break up the crowd with batons and pepper sprays, all this fuss can be pre-arranged.
If you’re too squeamish to set vehicles on fire — or pepper spray Trump supporters – you can schedule your very own incarceration! Think about it — Instead of doing something to warrant the attention of the police, you can ask them in advance to slap the handcuffs on you.
Imagine the respect you will earn from your peers. Think of how many “likes” you will receive when you post your “I just got arrested for protesting” selfie! The next time the hot shot intellectual you know starts spouting off about Saul Alinsky, you can put him in his place. While he was sitting in his safe space thinking about ways to destroy white privilege, you were on the front lines of the war against Trumpian fascism.
Of course, there is also the alternative. You could just engage in a peaceful protest and not get detained at all. Standing outside with a sign and a bullhorn is always an option, right? Actually, who am I kidding? Every self-respecting leftist knows that a political demonstration is not complete until someone gets arrested or savagely beaten. Carry on, true believer.