Why did Tucker Carlson and his children assault and batter a man in Virginia? Virginia State Police Michael Avenatti has opened an investigation into the matter. Avenatti put his police officer uniform back on this weekend to find out. Saturday morning, he tweeted he is “investigating an alleged assault on a gay latino immigrant committed by T. Carlson…” That’s not all. In addition to the assault investigation, Avenatti and his team will be investigating two possible violations of Virginia’s alcohol laws by Carlson’s adult children.
The Brand That Sticks
Mr. Carlson, who has annoyed Avenatti by branding him the “Creepy Porn Lawyer,” released a statement detailing the disgusting behavior his family had to put up with while at dinner at a country club in Charlottesville, Virginia. As his daughter returned to the table, she was stopped by a man at the bar and asked if she was with Carlson:
She answered: ‘That’s my dad,’ and pointed to me. The man responded, ‘Are you Tucker’s whore?’ He then called her a ‘f**king c*nt.’
Upon her teary return to the table, Carlson’s son did precisely what was demanded of him, what any brother should do – he confronted the man. Asked if he did indeed speak that way:
“The man admitted he had, and again become profane. My son threw a glass of red wine in the man’s face and told him to leave the bar, which he soon did.”
Avenatti, who was not in Charlottesville for the incident claimed that Tucker Carlson was lying about the facts and claimed the Carlson simply assaulted the man for no reason, save animus at him for being a Latino. Avenatti did not speculate why the 49-year-old Carlson decided on a Saturday night dinner out with his children to launch a physical attack motivated by racial hatred.
When we last checked in with Avenatti’s police-work, he was deep into investigating a series of gang-rapes organized and perpetrated by the sons of Washington’s elite, and featuring their daughters as victims. Though the survivors and perpetrators would presumably number in the many dozens, only one, Julie Sweatnick, was brave enough to come forward. How did that work out?
Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-IA) referred both Swetnick and Avenatti to the Justice Department for criminal investigation:
“The evidence appears to support the position that Julie Swetnick and Mr. Avenatti criminally conspired to make materially false statements to the Committee and obstruct the Committee’s investigation. Accordingly, the Committee referred both to the Department of Justice and FBI for investigation.”
Donald Trump’s superpower has revealed itself once again – his seeming ability to induce crazy behavior in his most strident detractors. With this ridiculous claim, Avenatti joins Elizabeth Warren in epic unforced errors this season. Detective Avenatti claims numerous witnesses back up his version of events. No word on whether they are the same witnesses who failed to corroborate a single detail of Swetnick’s story. In any case, Michael Avenatti’s superpower has revealed itself too – it’s one he shares with President Trump. We are talking about him.